it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
