Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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