U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
