Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

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(817): View more from Texas

Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.

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(619): View more from California

He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.

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(602): View more from Arizona

This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.

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