Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
