I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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