Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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