We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Your shirt... Was in my pants
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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