Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
