I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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