I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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