addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
