Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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