you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
