the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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