the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
