I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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