My room smells like vodka and shame
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
