I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
