By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
