Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
