I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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