oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
