Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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