i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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