Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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