Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize