So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude i'm inner monologue high
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
