Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
