so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
