I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
