just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
