This is not my ceiling
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize