i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
