11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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