He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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