I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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