I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
