Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude i'm inner monologue high
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
