I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
