Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize