At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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