I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
