i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
