I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
