Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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