she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
