these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and she was petting her beer can
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
