Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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