I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
