Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
