Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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