Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
