How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Randomize
