Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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