Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
