This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think my fart just growled at me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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